


Saving you

by Halfling



Category: Marvel (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-08
Updated: 2012-05-08
Packaged: 2017-11-05 01:10:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/400266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halfling/pseuds/Halfling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint has a nightmare about losing Coulson.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saving you

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted at my [Tumblr](halfsuper.tumblr.com).

The dream was familiar in theme. Coulson often died in Clint's nightmares, often in varying creative and terrifying ways, but this one was different. It was too simple, for one. No body, no warning, just a visit from a very subdued Natasha, telling him something he already knew in his heart. He went to the funeral, a quiet affair in SHIELD tradition. Coulson had no family, and no friends outside his job, and after the handful of people who showed up said their goodbyes and left, Clint was left standing alone at the grave of the man he loved more than life.

He said nothing, just stared at the grave marker until his vision made the words swim. "You did this," said a whisper from his right. Clint whipped around, trying to find the source, but there was no one there. "You didn't save me," said the same voice to his left.

Clint turned in a complete circle, looking everywhere, but to no avail. He turned back to Coulson's grave. "What use are you if you can't even protect the ones you love?" This time Clint recognized the voice. When he turned around again, Coulson was standing there, dressed in the same suit he always wore, but with a deep red stain down the front.

"Phil, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He choked on the words, and reached out to touch Coulson but he pulled away.

"Of course you're sorry. You're always sorry," Coulson told him. There was none of the usual play in his voice, and the glint of mischief was gone from his eyes. This was not the Coulson Clint had known in life. "You ever wonder why everyone you get close to dies, Barton?"

Clint could only shake his head, swallowing to keep himself from throwing up.

"It's because you're weak. And no matter who crawls into your pathetic life, you will always end up here." Coulson gestured to the cemetery around them. "Look familiar?"

Clint took a better look around him. The cemetery was different than before. This one was familiar. Then he recognized it. His mother was buried here. And his father. And his brother. There were others, too, names on the tombstones of people he had known who were now dead. The stone faces glared at him without pity.

"They're only going to keep dying, Barton. Because you deserve it, and there's nothing you can do to stop it." Coulson threw his head back and laughed, fresh blood soaking the front of his shirt and Clint woke up sweating through his sheets and tears on his face.

Coulson was in the living room of the tiny New York apartment they shared. He was doing paperwork, as he seemed to be doing near constantly these days. "Hey, sleeping beauty," Coulson greeted him, the smile on his face turning to concern when he saw Clint's expression, "What's wrong? Another nightmare?"

Clint just nodded, and joined him on the couch.

Coulson put his precious paperwork aside and turned to face Clint properly. "Want to talk about it?"

Clint shook his head and leaned over to bury his face in Coulson's chest. Coulson leaned back and pulled Clint up so Clint could lay on top of him more comfortably. "I just don't want to lose you," Clint finally muttered into Coulson's shirt.

"I'm not going anywhere," Coulson said quitely, slowly stroking Clint's hair with one hand, "Wouldn't dream of it."

"But what if something happens?" Clint continued. "What if something happens and I'm not there to save you."

Coulson chuckled softly and tipped Clint's chin up with one finger to look him in the eye. "It isn't your job to save me, Barton." He kissed Clint lightly on the lips. "And if I remember correctly, I've saved you on more than one occasion, you think I can't save myself?"

"I didn't mean--" Coulson silenced Clint with another kiss.

"I know," he said when he pulled away again. "And it's okay. I'm here, and you're here, and we're more than strong enough to save each other so that's not going to change anytime soon. SHIELD isn't even giving us any exciting missions anymore now that we have the Avengers to babysit, so like it or not you're probably going to be stuck with me for a very long time."

Clint stared at Coulson gratefully. "How do you always know the perfect things to say?"

Coulson shrugged. "Let's just say I've had my share of nightmares. Would you like to go to back to bed with me?"

"Yes, I think I would. And hey, Phil?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks."

Coulson pulled him into another kiss. "Anytime."


End file.
